Monday, July 5, 2010

Just a bit from my heart....

I can't believe I've found my dad. I've said this a million times, and it's a statement most people probably aren't surprised to hear. But I think unless you are standing in my shoes, you don't really GET the gravity of that statement.

When you go your whole life without having your biological father, he sort of becomes this dream. You know you SHOULD have a father, and that realistically there IS a person out there that helped create you. But you know nothing about him, you don't have a name or a face. You begin to wonder if maybe this is just some imaginary situation you've created in your head.

I after I got married and had kids, I always said I didn't need my father. I had my own family now, and I thought they filled the void in my heart that had existed for so long. My husband and I started some marriage counseling, and I had a few personal sessions on my own. It was through the work that I did with the counselor, that I came to realize I do need this. I do need to at least try. That taking this step, and doing this for ME, it will help heal other areas of my life, and help me be healthier for my marriage.

I am so grateful that I had this change of heart. I can remember being a little girl and being so sad when I'd go over to a friend's house and see them be close with their dads. All I ever wanted was to be a Daddy's Girl. I always wanted to feel that special bond.

I am so hopeful that my dad and I will get close. 27 years may have been missed out on, but I'm hoping that there are 27 more to fill with so many laughs, tears and memories. I have so much of my life left to share, and I can't wait to do that with my new branch on my family tree.

Sometimes when I get a text from him, it completely throws me for a loop. Something as small as seeing a contact listed as 'Dad' in my cell phone absolutely makes my day. I have a dad. I have a dad who is now a part of my life.

To be able to say that is absolutely AMAZING.


  1. Brandi, I am so happy that you've found him. I wish nothing but the best for you! How's things with your brother? Has he moved up to Ohio yet?

  2. Brandi, I am so happy for you. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I hope one day my story will have such a happy ending.